


Letting Go

by MelodeeKS99



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-19 15:02:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelodeeKS99/pseuds/MelodeeKS99
Summary: Instead of running away, Rey tries to convince him some to see her side, to let go of the path he's walked for so long and given everything to.





	Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [murakamism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/murakamism/gifts).



Ben stood upright, dropped the weapons, and walked toward Snoke’s throne.  They were alive, for now, then Rey remembered Snoke’s threat to the fleet of transports filled with Resistance members heading for a small planet not far away.

“The fleet! Order them to stop firing.  There’s still time to save the fleet!” Rey said, pointing toward them, then turning to see Ben staring calmly, longingly to where Snoke once sat. “Ben?” She asked quietly.

“It’s time to let old things die,” he said, breathing heavily. “Snoke,” he turned his head to face her. “Skywalker,” he paused, still trying to catch his breath, then turned his body to approach. “The Sith. The Jedi. The Rebels.  Let it all die.” 

Rey is stunned still, her mind racing and he walks toward her.

“Rey,” he said, somehow making such a short, simple name, seem full - substantial.  He reached his hand out. “I want you to join me.  We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy!”

“Don’t do this Ben.  Please don’t go this way,’ she pleads, a distressing break in her voice making it difficult to speak.  Fire rains down around them as it burns through the curtains, ripping them to shreds which fall at their feet.  Small blazes light her face, casting a orange light on the disappointment and grief now flooding through her. 

He yells at her.  Accuses Rey of still holding on to the past. “Let go!” He yells.  

Ben suggests that Rey know the truth about her parents and  urges her to be honest with herself.  He’s right about her parents.  She held on for so long to a dream of them returning to her.  Dreams of two loving people wrapping her in their arms, apologizing for leaving her alone for so long, but if Ben was right about anything, it was this.  It was time to let go.  

“They were nobody,” she admitted, tears streaming down her face.

Ben has stepped even closer to her now.  He tells her they sold her off for drinking money and are now dead. Did she already know that?  Somewhere deep within, she believes she did or she guessed it.  Blunt truths from a dark prince - Rey doesn’t know whether to slap him or thank him and walk away.

“You have no place in this story.  You come from nothing. You’re nothing,” he said humbly, shaking his head. 

Rey turned away from him, staring shamefully down at the ground, trying to be strong, but unable to ignore the plain truth causing tears to fill her eyes.  Does it hurt worse that he’s disappointed her or that this person who she thought cared for her is telling her he thinks she’s nothing?  She risked so much to be with him. 

“But not to me,” he added, willfully.

She raised her eyes to meet his and her heart skipped a beat.  

His hand flexed and he reached forward.  She looked down at it, then up to his face again.  He took a couple steps forward, extending his hand further and even turned his body to reach for her. His lips pouted before he whispered, “Please,” with such desperation Rey couldn’t think straight.

She gasped and her hand began to reach out, as if beyond her control, but Rey knew the truth of it.  She wanted to join him - wanted to be with him - but she would not join the First Order and had no desire to rule over the galaxy.  She stared at his hand, considering quickly how before, when she’d reached out to him, he’d removed his glove before they touched.  Did that mean something?  Was that the vulnerable, good, side of Ben who wanted this lonely girl he connected with to know she wasn’t alone.  Did that mean this was First Order, dark Sith, Ben who would kill anyone who stood in his way?

At this thought she glanced at the lightsaber in his hand.  She had given it up so willing in an attempt to save him.  Should she have held tightly to it and gone over to kill the guard herself?  Would he try to use it on her now?  Maybe she should take it from him.

Or maybe the glove and his grip on the saber meant nothing at all.  Maybe he didn’t even realize he still held the weapon and didn’t know how much it meant to her that he removed the glove so they were touching, skin to skin.  It was intimate, and sexy, and gave her the opportunity to connect with him in a way she didn’t know she could.  It gave her a vision of their future and if she could just get him to let go now, they could make that future happen.  

Rey lowered her arm and she saw Ben’s eyes fill with dread.  She stepped forward, passing the gloved hand, and stood close to him as she’d done on the elevator.  “I don’t know what to do,” she said. “and I think you know the feeling.  It feels like I’m being ripped apart, pulled in different directions, but it doesn’t have to be this way.  We could be together and, somehow, make it work.  Maybe you could help build a new Republic or you could start a school?”  She looked down, embarrassed.   _ What am I thinking?  He doesn’t want to be a teacyer.  He wants to rule the galaxy - to follow in his grandfather’s footsteps. He wants to be strong and powerful. _

He raised his eyebrows, wondering if she actually understood him at all.  He could tell she was distressed and reaching for answers she didn’t have, but she would need to come up with something better than that to change his mind; to take him from the path he’d followed for so long and set a new course.   _ Preferably a path she would take with me _ .  That thought struck a chord within him and the desires she was pleading with him to let go of began to fade, to his surprise.   _ But I don’t want to give up, _ he thought stubbornly.   _ I’ve tried for so long, given so much, to be strong with the dark side. _  He gritted his teeth and raised his chin in an ornery way.

“Okay, that sounded foolish, but there has to be something else.  Is this really what you want: to rule?  To be responsible for the well being of the entire galaxy?”

“You know I’ve promised to follow in my grandfather’s footsteps.”

“But your grandfather turned, in the end.”

“It was a moment of weakness.”

“Ben, is that what Snoke told you?  Your grandfather was a powerful Sith who, in a moment of weakness, failed in his attempt to rule the galaxy?”

“That is what Snoke and I believe.” Ben said, raising his chin arrogantly once again.

Rey began to smile and she reached her hand out to grip his forearm.  “Your grandfather was a powerful Sith who, in a moment of great  _ clarity _ and  _ strength _ , saved his child from an evil man who, for years manipulated him.  Saving his child was not weak.  Turning on the man who destroyed his life, was not weak.  Do you believe that killing Snoke to save my life was a moment of weakness for you?”

“Of course not!” Ben said, taking a step back and turning away, his dark hair flipping into his face.  “But I have survived and Darth Vader died.  If he had lived, he would do what I’m doing now.  I am going to lead the First Order and rule the galaxy.  And I want you to rule with me.”

Rey gazed at him mournfully and waited a few short seconds before saying.  “I want to stay with you, I want to have this discussion, but I can’t do it when you’re allowing that to happen,” she said, pointing out the window.  “Can’t you feel their fear?  You mother is there; can you sense her?  Please, Ben,” she squeezed her eyes shut and he leaned forward as a response to her pain.  “Those are the only people who ever truly cared for me.  Please help me save them.” She flinched as another cannon blast connected with a transport and several people cried out, then their presence vanished. His connection to her seemed to strengthen in that moment and he felt it too, his inside recoiled from the pain and he couldn’t let her take it any longer.

“I… I don’t have the authority to stop it,” he admitted, stepping up beside her.

“Is there another way?” She sniffed sadly.

Ben grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the throne.  He turned her back to the large seat, grabbed her shoulders, and pushed her down  to sit on it.

“No, Ben, I don’t want…”

“Just trust me,” he said, kneeling to her left.  He removed one glove and wiped the tears from her face, then said, “Tell them Snoke is captured and if they don’t stop firing and flee now, you will kill him and take down this ship.”

“Will they…”

“They’ll know this message comes from his throne.  They shouldn’t hesitate to save him.  Just be firm and clear.  Are you ready?”

Rey sniffed, wiped her hands across her face, and nodded a few times quickly. 

“You can do this.” He said, attempting a supportive smirk, but his mouth only twitched on one said.  “Okay.” He pressed a sleek black button on the front side of one arm of the throne and a hologram appeared before her.  

Several black-capped heads turned as her image appeared on the bridge of the Supremacy and Rey stiffened.  She raised her chest and chin proudly and announced, “I have captured your Supreme Leader, killed his guards, and rendered Kylo Ren unconscious.  If you do not stop firing on the Resistance,  _ now, _ I will use my powers to crash this ship and take every one of you down with me.  I will kill Kylo Ren and your Supreme leader and… will take down some of those other destroyers as I go.”

Rey wasn’t sure what else to say and she glanced down at Ben who waved a flattened hand across his neck and reached for the button to cut off the connection.

“You have been warned!” She said and he pressed the button.

She jumped off the throne, ran to the window, and waited.  Not another shot was emitted and she turned toward Ben, smiling.  She ran forward and grabbed his hands, “Thank you.” She said, new, happier tears now falling from her eyes. 

He nodded, but he looked sad.

“Ben, please listen to me.” She said, her voice constricted with emotion.  Rey reached up and placed both of her hands on his face.  “This does not make you weak.  You are brave and strong and if you keep making decision for good, I know you’ll be a much happier person, and then…” she stopped and he looked down at her expectantly.  

“Then what, Rey?” He asked hopefully.  He removed his second glove, reached up to grab her hands, and pulled them down at their sides.  

“You said… I’m not alone.  I’m just not sure…”

“Let me make it clear, then.” He said, managing a smirk this time, his eyes shining.  “If you want me to, I will be with you.  I will follow you down whichever path you choose.  When I said, ‘You’re nothing, but not to me,’ that was just my backwards, idiot way of telling you, you are everything to me.”

Rey laughed and lowered her head.

“But you told them you knocked me out and if they find Snoke here, dead, and think you took me with you, they will come after you to get to me.”

Rey’s face fell as she considered what that meant. “Oh, you didn’t tell me to say that, I just didn’t want them to think you were standing by, letting it all happen.  I’m sorry.” She said, her eyes pleading for forgiveness. “I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay.  I’ll lay here until they come.  Just… you have to go now.  There will be a squadron on the way soon.  You can take Snoke’s shuttle.”

“And what will you do?  I don’t want to leave you here, alone.”

He smiled a close lipped smile and her heart ached with sadness.  “I’ll be fine.  I’ll do what I can to keep you safe from here.  This isn’t a bad position to be in.”

“Will you promise me to try and end this war?” She asked, knowing it was a lofty request.  “I mean, you said you would follow me down any path.  Can that be a path a freedom where we allow the Republic to do its job, then you and I can truly,  just… leave it all behind?”

“That’s what you want?”

“More than anything.” She breathed.

“Then, that’s what we’ll do.  Now go!” He said, grabbing her hand once more and leading her halfway across the room.  “Snoke’s ship is through there. Can you pilot it down to join the others.”

“I can.” She said confidently.  

“Good,” he said.  She began to walk away and he reached his hand out, keeping them connected until she was out of his reach.  Their hands parted and she looked back.

“Be careful,” he said with tears in his eyes, wishing he could go with her.

Rey frowned and turned her body back, rushing forward and jumping into his arms.  Ben caught her and she wrapped her legs around him.  They held each other tightly, faces buried in each other’s shoulders and hair as they cried.  

Finally Ben pulled away.  “You really have to go,” he said leaning his head back to look in her eyes.  “You need to get to safety.”

She nodded, grimacing, turned her head to wipe her face on her arm - her hands still tangled in his hair - then leaned in and kissed him.  She only meant to press her lips to his once before they were separated, but they were both carried away for a minute before she dropped her legs, touching her feet to the floor, pulled away from him, kissed him on the cheek, then turned and ran away.

When she looked back from the shuttle he was already on the ground, pretending to be unconscious.  She boarded quickly hoping it would not be long before they were connected once more and forever. 

 

 


End file.
